


Kissaphobic

by vampirejanuary



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Fluff, M/M, Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives), Sex-Repulsed Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, discussion of sexuality, mentions of past relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirejanuary/pseuds/vampirejanuary
Summary: Jon had rested his head on Martin’s shoulder the whole train ride up to Scotland. They’d held hands on the walk to the safe house, and they’d cuddled on the sofa for hours. Now they were in bed, facing one another in the dim light, fingers tangled together. It was only a natural progression from there.“Can I kiss you?”“No.”
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Past Jonathan Sims/Others
Comments: 22
Kudos: 350
Collections: Repulsed/Averse Ace Jon Archivist





	Kissaphobic

**Author's Note:**

> jonny and alex: no kissing in the magnus archives because it sounds nasty  
> me, an intellectual: no kissing in the magnus archives because jon is ace
> 
> title from kissaphobic by make out monday
> 
> slight content warning: the fic mentions past relationships where jon kissed his partners but he reveals that he doesn't actually like kissing that much so it's sort of dubious consent? it's not super bad but i thought i should put a warning anyway

It was bound to happen eventually, it always did.

Not that ‘always’ in Jon's case covered many occasions.

It didn’t occur to Jon at first that he was asexual. He’d felt aesthetic and even romantic attraction before, and whilst he’d known that his interest in multiple genders was ‘out of the ordinary’, he had never noticed his lack of sexual attraction.

Sure he’d known that most people had at some point in their lives seen someone and subsequently wanted to have sex with them, but this had always been a sort of abstract concept to him. It had never quite clicked that someone’s appearance could make other people want to see them naked, never mind actually having sex. Surely people were just over exaggerating? Surely they were just trying to romanticise sex and love at first sight? Jon had never even considered that he might be different, and he’d never really thought about himself having sex.

His first serious relationship had ended quite suddenly. They’d been kissing and that had been alright, but then they were naked and that _wasn’t_ , and until then sex had always been an abstract thing for other people to do but never a concept that Jon applied to himself. Suffice to say, it had not gone well, as without the proper words to fully articulate Jon's sudden sense of “oh no thanks not for me” he'd thought Jon had taken offence with his appearance, and left. He’d tried to explain, later, but it’s difficult to explain something you don’t quite know yourself.

His second relationship, a few years later, had been a much slower ship to wreck. Learning from experience, Jon had tried to explain his aversion to sex early on in the relationship. Unbeknownst to him, his girlfriend had misinterpreted it as a choice, a decision to be celibate until the relationship grew more serious. She never tried to force or coerce Jon into anything, but once it became clear that he wasn’t interested in anything more than handholding and chaste kisses _ever_ she lost interest and moved on. She’d tried to be kind when she broke up with him, but it had still hurt.

Then there had been Georgie. Jon tried to do a better job of explaining it this time, and it helped that Georgie in all her infinite wisdom already knew the word ‘asexual’. From there, it was a simple matter of a few Google searches and Jon had a name and description for his sexuality. It felt _right_ , and though it didn’t make up for his past heartbreaks, it still helped. They held hands and it was good, they cuddled and it was great, they kissed and it was alright. And when they broke up, at least it wasn’t because of Jon’s sexuality.

So yeah, it was bound to happen eventually.

Jon would have liked to tell Martin _before_ starting anything, but they’d just sort of fallen into each other and honestly he’d had bigger things to worry about. 

Jon had rested his head on Martin’s shoulder the whole train ride up to Scotland. They’d held hands on the walk to the safe house, and they’d cuddled on the sofa for hours. Now they were in bed, facing one another in the dim light, fingers tangled together. It was only a natural progression from there.

“Can I kiss you?”

“No,” Martin frowned slightly and _oh_ , he hadn’t meant to say that. “Sorry that’s not- I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s okay.”

“I don’t really… you know,” Jon shrugged, shifting the duvet down off his shoulder and shuddering at the sudden brush of cool air against his skin, “ _do_ that sort of thing. I don’t like it. Sex, I mean.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You what?”

“You’re asexual – ace – right?” Martin suddenly looked unsure of himself and Jon wanted desperately to reach out and smooth the furrow on his brow.

“Yes, I am, how did you know that?”

“Oh!” Now he looked sheepish, “Um, well one day, sort of back when we started at the archives, you said, you said uh, I think it was after recording a statement? Or something? Anyway you said you ‘aced it’ and looked really smug, as if you’d said something really clever?”

Jon groaned. Had he really accidentally come out to Martin with a _pun_ for Christ’s sake?

Martin continued, “So I asked Tim about it and he said he’d never normally spread gossip-”

Jon snorted fondly, “Liar.”

“-but since I’d basically figured it out for myself already he’d tell me. So there.” It was silent for a beat while Jon thought, then Martin added, “Also uh, Melanie and Basira are _huge_ gossips.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Jon grumbled. Martin laughed, but he continued, “You can uh, you can kiss me now. If you want.”

“Oh!” Martin blushed, “Do _you_ want? Uh, for me to kiss you, that is.”

“Hm. I don’t mind. Yes, I suppose?” Martin frowned, more seriously this time, and Jon suddenly felt like he’d said something wrong. “No, don’t look like that, yes I want you to kiss me.”

“Do you though?”

Jon hummed. Nobody had ever really questioned him this seriously about his opinions on _kissing_ of all things. He’d never been averse to it, but it had also never been something he’d sought out. He’d much rather cuddle up and watch a movie than spend time swapping spit. “I mean, Georgie and I kissed, and _that_ was alright.”

“Alright? But did you _like_ it?”

“Wow, are you seriously asking me if I liked kissing my girlfriend? What are we? Twelve?”

“Answer the question, Jon.” His tone was stern, but his face was soft and worried.

“Yes? No? I don’t know. I didn’t _dislike_ it, it was just something that we did. I’m not that fussed about it.”

“Did Georgie make you-”

“ _Christ_ no! Martin, I’m an adult and I know my own boundaries. Just because kissing isn’t my favourite thing in the world doesn’t mean I didn’t _want_ to kiss Georgie.”

“Okay, okay. Just making sure,” he looked less concerned now, but not by much, “What about now? What about me?”

Again, Jon paused to consider, “I don’t know. If, if you want to kiss me, we can, I do enjoy it sometimes. It’s just a bit… gross, after a while.”

“Okay, no kissing then.”

“That’s not what I-”

“No kissing.”

Jon absolutely did not pout. He didn’t. Martin was being almost shockingly accepting of the ace thing. Surely it couldn’t last, especially not without physical affection-

“Stop thinking so hard, Jon,” he reached out to gently cradle Jon’s face, “I’m not going to _die_ if I don’t kiss you, or something stupid like that. I’m perfectly content with holding hands and cuddling, Jon. I love you because you’re _you_ , not because I want to kiss your face off every ten seconds.” Jon chuckled, but Martin frowned slightly, “That’s- you _do_ like the cuddling and stuff though, right? Like, I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I?”

“No, Martin, cuddling is fine,” he felt himself blushing as he added, “more than fine, actually. I really like the cuddling.” The embarrassment was worth it for Martin’ smile.

He pulled Jon into his side, and they settled down onto the mattress. For several minutes, it was blissfully quiet.

“Maybe _some_ kissing is okay,” whispered Jon into the silence. Martin just hummed, already half asleep. “Like, on the forehead, or the cheek maybe. I think that would be nice.”

Martin pressed a sleepy kiss into Jon’s curls, and murmured “Promise to tell me if it’s ever _not_ nice.”

Jon hummed happily, “Promise.”

It was bound to happen eventually, but Jon thinks maybe this time he’s done it right.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm ace but i'm not sex repulsed so if i've done anything wrong or offensive here please let me know so i can change it


End file.
